Dinner for Two. Check for Two.
Thoughts, Opinions and Reflections of Ronald A. Craig, Jr. on clarity, assumptions, and hope. On how the mixing of the three can be hazardous to ones being, and how to prevent future hurt or loss of self in the process.
As long as clarity has a seat at the table, assumption will starve. I have always believed this to be a true fact, but in my blind ignorance I missed a step. This step, this deceptive platform that I overlooked is known as hope.
Hope: a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen. (Google.com/ definition of hope.)
Having hope for or in something is a beautiful notion. It almost speaks to a lost or sometimes neglected part of the human soul that shows we can still believe in us as human beings. Hope shows that we still believe that others can be still live as benevolent, reasonable and inspiring people. The unfortunate truth about hope in my opinion is that it is, and this is meant in the very literal sense, a crap shoot. A game of chance, that in a very cruel manner, places the dreams or craving a person on a pedestal that is in infinitely wide, but is being balanced on a tooth pick with a buzz saw inching its way towards the center of this tooth pick, just as slowly as we (the earth) are inching our way towards the sun.
Dramatic, I know, but still true. This happens at the fault of assumption now being fed under the table all the while unknown to clarity. See, when clarity and assumption are at the same table, there is always war. Clarity is an idea that is quite absolute in its existence. What I am trying to mean in this, is that clarity demands unwavering loyalty. Clarity did not come to the table to share its meal. Either you are wanting, needing to be very clear about the event that took place or you are not. And if you are not, it is because you didn’t serve clarity enough questions. If your questions are an 8 oz. steak, and you only served clarity 5 oz. there are 3 oz. out there that are being digested by assumption, and hope is the 6-year-old kid at the table feeding this hungry mutt.
Say you and a partner are in a relationship, but it comes to its final chapter. This is OK, happens all the time, world keeps on spinning. But only one of you, you namely for the sake of connectivity, are unclear on where you and your partner stand. How? There could be several factors here. Your partners’ actions could continue to be seen or carried out as if nothing has changed, at least to you. How you two talk, interact, and exist in the same space. And as this carries on, you start to find or acquire a small amount of hope. And just like snake venom, all it takes is the tiniest amount to enter the blood stream and your heart is at severe risk. Just like most things when it comes to human interact, specifically in a relationship, of any kind mind you, actions trump words every time. I believe that human action cannot, in totality be faked. I believe that in a very real, and honest sense that a person’s actions carry a bit more (slight understatement) truth in them, then that of words. This is due to the false idea that words can be taken back, erased, or excused form time. Actions on the other hand have more weight to them. Saying you love someone is one thing, but showing is another. Everyone can say that they will give you $100.00 if you ask, but you will have a much stronger bond in any sense to the person who actually hands you the money upon request.
What can be done?
In my opinion it is not enough to reprimand hope. When it comes to the matters of the heart, and the stability of one’s mind, hope must be excused from the table all together, and it must take assumption with it. As long as either one is still there at the table, you will never have complete clarity about the situation at hand. This leads to creating unrealistic expectations about the current state of how you and the other will continue to exist in this space and time. Be it pleasant, neutral or damaging from bitterness. With clarity getting its full meal, it can then, with great ease, decipher actions, and words with a clear mind. So nothing is misunderstood. With clarity comes peace of mind, with peace of mind comes tranquility, and with tranquility comes happiness. If not for both sides, definitely for you.
Now am I saying that having hope is all bad? No. if hope is dining with clarity, then make sure that hope and clarity have separate meals. Be clear on whether or not one situation is the actual event or not. Have hope that you will get through it, or that it will work itself out down the road. But do not have hope for something that doesn’t exist. The equivalent is similar to wants versus needs. We can have hope for what we want, but we should be very clear on what we need. Like bills vs luxury. Do not place hope in a realm of your needs. You need to have lights and heat with running water and food. It should never be “I hope I have enough to go to New York and pay rent.” No it should be “I know I have enough to pay rent. Hopefully after this, I will still have enough to go to New York. The first example shows that hope and clarity are sharing a plate again. The second shows two separate plates.
I mean this in a very literal sense, that assumption is a gluttonous hound, that will consume you, and hope can (has the ability) be the perfect seasoning, the sweetest scent that will make you a meal it will develop and addiction for.
Hope is a dangerous tool, that can inspire greatness or leave on looking a complete fool. I hope that my perspective (not law) on the matter, will help you achieve the former, and avoid the latter.